Dear all readers,
The blog post "Hazing and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder" was not meant to be malicious towards any current or former brother of the "Best Fraternity" at JMU. It was only meant for awareness and by no means does this type of activity still go on at the "Best Fraternity" at JMU. This was clearly represented by the year in which it occured...2004...however others seem to be confused for some reason. Regardless no longer fear of the university giving a rats ass about this because with this post specifically I have confirmed that the activities that occured during my period of pledging no longer at JMU. Thanks and have a great day.
Sincerely,
Wayne Moore
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Hazing and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (or sorta)
First off do not and I mean absolutely do not think I'm attempting to garner some sort of pity or attention from the title of this blog post. It has nothing to do with stopping the hazing that goes on within almost every organization we know of. Actually I believe it has its place but should be kept in check. There are brilliantly positive benefits from hazing and ultimately dark and negative outcomes.This particular post however will be related to my personal experience when I was pledging my fraternity at JMU. Now for some time I really have wanted others (meaning the young bucks that are currently brothers of the Best Fraternity at James Madison University and the guys who became brothers in the fraternity after my pledge class) to understand that they have about as much of a clue as to what real hazing and earning your letters is like as a 90 year old crack whore with alzheimers who hasn't had her crack in a month and doesn't realize the white rock she just smoked was really a fermented piece of bird poop that was scrapped off the pavement two days ago. That being said I would like to bring you to the beginning of pledging through the eyes of Wayne Moore.
Its freshman year, august 2004 at the great James Madison University, and freshman orientation is currently being held where basically you meet tons of absolutely gorgeous chicks in the hope of laying as many of them as possible throughout your tenure at the university (come on give me a break, I was 18 and my libido was about to collapse on itself in the form of a super nova). Yes the orientation was a great experience and is also ranked as one of the best in the nation (not bullshiting this, so if you don't believe me then look it up you doubting sons of bitches from USC "University of SC") along with our business school (not international business, but the entire business school) being ranked among the top universities in the U.S. (http://www.businessweek.com/interactive_reports/undergrad_bschool_2009.html).
As freshman orientation came to an end and classes began, anxiety and excitement continued to rise in the new freshman class of 2004. From the very beginning of the school year up until Rush began for the fraternities I decided I would try to check out the majority of the houses on campus. However long story told short, I decided to rush and pledge the Best Fraternity. Now I'm sure you are wondering how I came about this decision and who some of my fellow pledge brothers were. Well for one during my senior year in high school I had the opportunity to experience JMU for one night at the Best Fraternity Rush party. This was something I had never experienced...ever...females making out with each other...unlimited beer...camaraderie among the brothers...and just a general sense of fucking awesomeness is what I beheld that night. So as your can see my mind was pretty much already made up when I first stepped onto JMU's campus officially. I was bound to a be $$$$, or as the saying goes Once a &&&&, Always a ****. My pledge class was labeled Alpha Zeta, "AKA the Dirty Dozen." I could spend countless hours telling you of all the ridiculous events and substances that we were told to endure just to become brothers, but then I would be here all damn night and day. Basically everyone before us had dealt with the unabated constant state of drunkenness, physical exercise (calisthenics, bear crawls, duck walks), being made into sorority gifts by stripping for older sorority girls little sisters, and mental terrorism so we decided that since they went through it and they lived to tell about it so that we will have to do the same in order to become brothers in this fraternity.
If you really break it down you will see the cyclical cycle that was developed within the Greek fraternity system that I subjected myself to. Here I have outlined the major factors that play into system itself, see below:
First impressions (Make everyone that isn't a brother see being a brother as a glorified position that is only achieved by those are tough enough to deal with the bullshit).
Promise of this glorified position (after pledging and showing loyalty to the fraternity as a whole)
Establish power plays for brothers to make during all of pledging (to reinforce the division between the pledges and brothers and how you do not receive full benefits as a brother until you complete pledging).
Examples of this being (and yes I know they sound trivial but really were used a power plays or displays of dominance even if the person using the method didn't realize it):
- Only Brother were allowed to sit on the bar of the Party Room. (resembled a pack of lions looking out across the field showing ownership of what lay before them).
- Ability to pass any line during a party for a refill of beer and to pass over a nonbrother or even other women for a beer.
- Indoctrinating pledges to believe that Alumni were to be given utmost respect even if they were complete dousche bags and wastes of life.
- Requiring pledges to line up in front of brothers and recite information about the Fraternity and if a question was answered wrong punishing the pledges with calisthenics, drinking, extra cleaning, and so on.
- Requiring pledges to clean brothers living areas twice a week (brothers would usually take the liberty of completely destroying these areas in order to make the cleaning of pledges that much more difficult)
- Making pledges be sober drivers during the weekend nights in order for brothers to have a free ride around the college campus to parties and other places they wanted to go without getting a DUI or DWI.
I'm sure you are wondering what this information has to do with the title of this blog. Well I know that most of you have heard the horror stories Fraternities and the crazy shit each pledge was made to do depending on the Fraternity and the college campus. However what all of these things you have heard of and have possibly experienced do two different things to the pledges themselves. First they create a division and secondly unity within the brotherhood at the same time. The pledge class itself grows closer usually because the members of the pledge class must pull together at times and pick up each others' slack in order to make it through the process of becoming a brother. Also even though the brothers are creating a sense of pride by making the pledges earn their way into the brotherhood, at the same time they are creating dissonance between themselves and the new pledges. Yes they are creating dissonance by the simple fact that the brothers are basically acting as if they are mental terrorists and because of their expression of distaste with most of the pledges and their shortcomings as a group. However little do they know that whilst outcasting the current pledges for not being brothers just yet and indoctrinating them with the fraternity's values and beliefs, they are also creating a conflicting sense of a disconcerted need for approval from the brothers who hazed them throughout their pledging period.
So what I'm attempting to indicate here is that while pledges often label certain brothers as most hated because of how the brother/brothers decided to haze the pledges, the pledges themselves still look up to these older, most hated brothers for the majority of their tenure within the Greek system. This hatred/seeking approval characteristic seems to manifest itself in ways that even the person experiencing the discontent within themselves will have a difficult time understanding why they give a rats ass what this person approves or disapproves of them.
So what good has hazing accomplished?
It pushes individuals to a point where they break down psychologically and begin to accept the culture within the organization they are entering in order to more truly become a part of the brotherhood.
It allows pledge classes to work together to get things done and to take up after one another when impossible tasks are set upon the group as a whole.
It teaches that in order to truly become part of an organization you must go through some sort of initiation or proving yourself stage that occurs within almost every organization we know of (i.e. Corporate America - gives you shit work and projects in the beginning, because everyone had to do it at one point or another).
So what bad has hazing accomplished?
It breaks individuals down to a point where going with the group norm is easier than standing alone and being ostracized.
It creates a conflicting mental state of discontent within the younger brothers who constantly seek approval even if they claim to care less for it of the older brothers who hazed them when they were pledging.
At times hazing can even cause death when pushed too far.
It often creates enough anger within the newly initiated brothers to juxtapose that anger and resentment on the new pledge class, when really it should be directed towards older Fraternity brothers who hazed them to begin with. (However this as you can see is a vicious cycle that continues and continues until someone comes up with a more appropriate way to haze new members of an organization.)
Finally I wanted to mention that this does not just apply to the Greek system. This applies to Sports teams, religious organizations, universities, secret societies, workplaces, and families. Hazing is used within all of these organizations and there are both pros and cons to hazing but one thing is for sure, that the lasting affect hazing has on individuals will definitely impact their life in the years to come.
Its freshman year, august 2004 at the great James Madison University, and freshman orientation is currently being held where basically you meet tons of absolutely gorgeous chicks in the hope of laying as many of them as possible throughout your tenure at the university (come on give me a break, I was 18 and my libido was about to collapse on itself in the form of a super nova). Yes the orientation was a great experience and is also ranked as one of the best in the nation (not bullshiting this, so if you don't believe me then look it up you doubting sons of bitches from USC "University of SC") along with our business school (not international business, but the entire business school) being ranked among the top universities in the U.S. (http://www.businessweek.com/interactive_reports/undergrad_bschool_2009.html).
As freshman orientation came to an end and classes began, anxiety and excitement continued to rise in the new freshman class of 2004. From the very beginning of the school year up until Rush began for the fraternities I decided I would try to check out the majority of the houses on campus. However long story told short, I decided to rush and pledge the Best Fraternity. Now I'm sure you are wondering how I came about this decision and who some of my fellow pledge brothers were. Well for one during my senior year in high school I had the opportunity to experience JMU for one night at the Best Fraternity Rush party. This was something I had never experienced...ever...females making out with each other...unlimited beer...camaraderie among the brothers...and just a general sense of fucking awesomeness is what I beheld that night. So as your can see my mind was pretty much already made up when I first stepped onto JMU's campus officially. I was bound to a be $$$$, or as the saying goes Once a &&&&, Always a ****. My pledge class was labeled Alpha Zeta, "AKA the Dirty Dozen." I could spend countless hours telling you of all the ridiculous events and substances that we were told to endure just to become brothers, but then I would be here all damn night and day. Basically everyone before us had dealt with the unabated constant state of drunkenness, physical exercise (calisthenics, bear crawls, duck walks), being made into sorority gifts by stripping for older sorority girls little sisters, and mental terrorism so we decided that since they went through it and they lived to tell about it so that we will have to do the same in order to become brothers in this fraternity.
If you really break it down you will see the cyclical cycle that was developed within the Greek fraternity system that I subjected myself to. Here I have outlined the major factors that play into system itself, see below:
First impressions (Make everyone that isn't a brother see being a brother as a glorified position that is only achieved by those are tough enough to deal with the bullshit).
Promise of this glorified position (after pledging and showing loyalty to the fraternity as a whole)
Establish power plays for brothers to make during all of pledging (to reinforce the division between the pledges and brothers and how you do not receive full benefits as a brother until you complete pledging).
Examples of this being (and yes I know they sound trivial but really were used a power plays or displays of dominance even if the person using the method didn't realize it):
- Only Brother were allowed to sit on the bar of the Party Room. (resembled a pack of lions looking out across the field showing ownership of what lay before them).
- Ability to pass any line during a party for a refill of beer and to pass over a nonbrother or even other women for a beer.
- Indoctrinating pledges to believe that Alumni were to be given utmost respect even if they were complete dousche bags and wastes of life.
- Requiring pledges to line up in front of brothers and recite information about the Fraternity and if a question was answered wrong punishing the pledges with calisthenics, drinking, extra cleaning, and so on.
- Requiring pledges to clean brothers living areas twice a week (brothers would usually take the liberty of completely destroying these areas in order to make the cleaning of pledges that much more difficult)
- Making pledges be sober drivers during the weekend nights in order for brothers to have a free ride around the college campus to parties and other places they wanted to go without getting a DUI or DWI.
I'm sure you are wondering what this information has to do with the title of this blog. Well I know that most of you have heard the horror stories Fraternities and the crazy shit each pledge was made to do depending on the Fraternity and the college campus. However what all of these things you have heard of and have possibly experienced do two different things to the pledges themselves. First they create a division and secondly unity within the brotherhood at the same time. The pledge class itself grows closer usually because the members of the pledge class must pull together at times and pick up each others' slack in order to make it through the process of becoming a brother. Also even though the brothers are creating a sense of pride by making the pledges earn their way into the brotherhood, at the same time they are creating dissonance between themselves and the new pledges. Yes they are creating dissonance by the simple fact that the brothers are basically acting as if they are mental terrorists and because of their expression of distaste with most of the pledges and their shortcomings as a group. However little do they know that whilst outcasting the current pledges for not being brothers just yet and indoctrinating them with the fraternity's values and beliefs, they are also creating a conflicting sense of a disconcerted need for approval from the brothers who hazed them throughout their pledging period.
So what I'm attempting to indicate here is that while pledges often label certain brothers as most hated because of how the brother/brothers decided to haze the pledges, the pledges themselves still look up to these older, most hated brothers for the majority of their tenure within the Greek system. This hatred/seeking approval characteristic seems to manifest itself in ways that even the person experiencing the discontent within themselves will have a difficult time understanding why they give a rats ass what this person approves or disapproves of them.
So what good has hazing accomplished?
It pushes individuals to a point where they break down psychologically and begin to accept the culture within the organization they are entering in order to more truly become a part of the brotherhood.
It allows pledge classes to work together to get things done and to take up after one another when impossible tasks are set upon the group as a whole.
It teaches that in order to truly become part of an organization you must go through some sort of initiation or proving yourself stage that occurs within almost every organization we know of (i.e. Corporate America - gives you shit work and projects in the beginning, because everyone had to do it at one point or another).
So what bad has hazing accomplished?
It breaks individuals down to a point where going with the group norm is easier than standing alone and being ostracized.
It creates a conflicting mental state of discontent within the younger brothers who constantly seek approval even if they claim to care less for it of the older brothers who hazed them when they were pledging.
At times hazing can even cause death when pushed too far.
It often creates enough anger within the newly initiated brothers to juxtapose that anger and resentment on the new pledge class, when really it should be directed towards older Fraternity brothers who hazed them to begin with. (However this as you can see is a vicious cycle that continues and continues until someone comes up with a more appropriate way to haze new members of an organization.)
Finally I wanted to mention that this does not just apply to the Greek system. This applies to Sports teams, religious organizations, universities, secret societies, workplaces, and families. Hazing is used within all of these organizations and there are both pros and cons to hazing but one thing is for sure, that the lasting affect hazing has on individuals will definitely impact their life in the years to come.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Ever wonder what if?
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to just pack up and leave your native country with little to no knowledge of the place you are headed except that it is as fascinating as it is tumultuously dangerous. We only sleep at night with peace when our lives in the daytime are not left incomplete. So what does that mean? Well I just made it up as I was sitting here, but to me it represents the struggle most of us have with being content with how our adult lives have played out throughout our short lifespan. Have we accomplished everything we always dreamed we would? Should we attempt to dream another dream before it drives us mad from never being able to attain it? Or should we break free from the our current melancholy daylights to daytimes that will only bring us closer to our inevitable permanent sleep that was meant only for those who have truly done what their heart has called on them to do.
What is all this jibber jabber I keep talking about? This is the question I'm sure you are asking yourself, but as you sit here and read what is written, realize that I am the one asking these questions to myself and these questions are not directed towards anyone but my own mind since these questions only came from my mind. If I was to finally cut the bullshit and do what I truly and wholeheartedly felt like doing, there would be no future as far as my mind can see in front of me. I would have no way to save up for a rainy day or when all of Hades breaks loose to ravage everything that I hold dear. No, I must continue to be a slave, plebe, or commoner to the everyday monotony of middle classed suburbia life. Do I wish to break free from these chains that are often overlooked as just mere "good debt?" Hell yes of course this is my true wish. I dream of finding a craft or trade that is solely reliant on my abilities to produce them or it, so that I may truly see and feel the tangible results of my work well done. With this craft that I would be solely responsible for, I would wish it to give me not wealth, but a vast amount of endearing freedom from constraints that almost anyone and everyone has that works a 9-5 job. The freedom I mention is not freedom to speak my mind but freedom from worldly constraints of a limited amount of time, money, and energy that limits you and I everyday when we decide that this object whether it be an experience or material possession is out of our reach simply because we do not possess the freedom (money, time, etc) to obtain it.
So what should I do if I am so dreadfully unsatisfied with this glamorous life living in the greatest nation in the world?
What is all this jibber jabber I keep talking about? This is the question I'm sure you are asking yourself, but as you sit here and read what is written, realize that I am the one asking these questions to myself and these questions are not directed towards anyone but my own mind since these questions only came from my mind. If I was to finally cut the bullshit and do what I truly and wholeheartedly felt like doing, there would be no future as far as my mind can see in front of me. I would have no way to save up for a rainy day or when all of Hades breaks loose to ravage everything that I hold dear. No, I must continue to be a slave, plebe, or commoner to the everyday monotony of middle classed suburbia life. Do I wish to break free from these chains that are often overlooked as just mere "good debt?" Hell yes of course this is my true wish. I dream of finding a craft or trade that is solely reliant on my abilities to produce them or it, so that I may truly see and feel the tangible results of my work well done. With this craft that I would be solely responsible for, I would wish it to give me not wealth, but a vast amount of endearing freedom from constraints that almost anyone and everyone has that works a 9-5 job. The freedom I mention is not freedom to speak my mind but freedom from worldly constraints of a limited amount of time, money, and energy that limits you and I everyday when we decide that this object whether it be an experience or material possession is out of our reach simply because we do not possess the freedom (money, time, etc) to obtain it.
So what should I do if I am so dreadfully unsatisfied with this glamorous life living in the greatest nation in the world?
The Stock Market and Working out
Have you ever thought to yourself damnit I wish I had more money to spend on supplements??? Well chances are this will not apply to everyone, however if you are an investor in the stock market you will still be able to relate to this article at some point or another throughout your glorious tenure that will be spent reading the next couple of paragraphs on this blog.
Has anyone ever wondered why there are so many mentally challenged stock market investors out there? You know who I'm referring to, I'm speaking of those news swaying speculators who decide one day that just because the housing market was down last month a fraction of a percent that all hell must break loose on their oil stocks so they decide to sell them all. At this point everyone else falls into two categories: Fucking bandwagon idiots and the rest of us value investors. I will go ahead and lump the fucking bandwagon idiots into the same boat as the slightly bad news let me sell all my stock investors as well. While the rest of us "value investors" sit and watch our stocks fall for no reason other tahn to make something up off the top of our head similar to the way Romans would have said well its because Zeus is mad at us so we just have to deal with it.
Next time you feel you are about to sell your stock, ask yourself these questions: Is this company's stock I'm about to sell still a good/great investment? Should I allow the news about some part of the economy or jobs that has nothing to do with the sector your stock be a factor when deciding to sell your stock? Am I a fucking moron? Well if you answered yes to any of the above questions and still sold your stock then I think you should have your penis and balls (if you are a man) and breasts (if you are a woman) punched with serious ferocity everytime you act so childish and idiotic with your decisions. Do you not realize that everytime you react in this way you not only cripple yourself financially in the gains you could have possibly made but you also are fucking with everyone else's money as well? This is where I step in and say "HEY ASSHOLE" you not only bankrupted your pansy, no disciplined ass but you also took the equity of my stock from possibly valuable to next to nothing. Is that stock you just sold still from a good company? Did they make their projections this quarter and the last? Have they continued to make revenue and expand their business? If yes is your answer to any of those questions then "WHY THE HELL DID YOU SELL YOUR FUCKING STOCK YOU "WELL WHEN I WAS YOUNG MY MOTHER AND FATHER ALLOWED ME TO PLAY SOCCER WHERE THERE WERE NO WINNERS AND WE JUST PLAYED TO PLAY THE GAME.........this is bullmolockey and the degradation of our society.
How does this apply to working out you ask? Well see in the world of bodybuilding and for those of us who take interest in building our bodies to be the most strong and most possibly fit we like to take supplements that help us blow past throw plateaus that we hit every so often. I'm not speaking of steriods or anything that has to do with putting man made hormones into your body but I am speaking of pre workout supplements, high grade whey protein, multivitamins, etc. Well when you fucktards who sell your stock every time Obama opens his mouth to say something is not going that great in the economy or when someone on the news is trying to sell you a sensationalized view of the world marketplace you drive down the equity I have in my stocks and when that happens I have less money in reserve for my savings. This in turn makes me rethink what I spend my money on since I will need certain supplements to continue gaining lean muscle mass and to continue to bust through my plateaus. So not only are you helping to bankrupt other people while doing the same to yourself but you are taking money away from me who would like to buy more supplements. This may sound petty but damn those supplements get expensive after you continuously need to replenish your supply of them. So here is a big fuck you to all your bandwagon assfaces who run scared and hide everytime the news portrays the housing market sales decrease of .01% to be the end of the world.
Has anyone ever wondered why there are so many mentally challenged stock market investors out there? You know who I'm referring to, I'm speaking of those news swaying speculators who decide one day that just because the housing market was down last month a fraction of a percent that all hell must break loose on their oil stocks so they decide to sell them all. At this point everyone else falls into two categories: Fucking bandwagon idiots and the rest of us value investors. I will go ahead and lump the fucking bandwagon idiots into the same boat as the slightly bad news let me sell all my stock investors as well. While the rest of us "value investors" sit and watch our stocks fall for no reason other tahn to make something up off the top of our head similar to the way Romans would have said well its because Zeus is mad at us so we just have to deal with it.
Next time you feel you are about to sell your stock, ask yourself these questions: Is this company's stock I'm about to sell still a good/great investment? Should I allow the news about some part of the economy or jobs that has nothing to do with the sector your stock be a factor when deciding to sell your stock? Am I a fucking moron? Well if you answered yes to any of the above questions and still sold your stock then I think you should have your penis and balls (if you are a man) and breasts (if you are a woman) punched with serious ferocity everytime you act so childish and idiotic with your decisions. Do you not realize that everytime you react in this way you not only cripple yourself financially in the gains you could have possibly made but you also are fucking with everyone else's money as well? This is where I step in and say "HEY ASSHOLE" you not only bankrupted your pansy, no disciplined ass but you also took the equity of my stock from possibly valuable to next to nothing. Is that stock you just sold still from a good company? Did they make their projections this quarter and the last? Have they continued to make revenue and expand their business? If yes is your answer to any of those questions then "WHY THE HELL DID YOU SELL YOUR FUCKING STOCK YOU "WELL WHEN I WAS YOUNG MY MOTHER AND FATHER ALLOWED ME TO PLAY SOCCER WHERE THERE WERE NO WINNERS AND WE JUST PLAYED TO PLAY THE GAME.........this is bullmolockey and the degradation of our society.
How does this apply to working out you ask? Well see in the world of bodybuilding and for those of us who take interest in building our bodies to be the most strong and most possibly fit we like to take supplements that help us blow past throw plateaus that we hit every so often. I'm not speaking of steriods or anything that has to do with putting man made hormones into your body but I am speaking of pre workout supplements, high grade whey protein, multivitamins, etc. Well when you fucktards who sell your stock every time Obama opens his mouth to say something is not going that great in the economy or when someone on the news is trying to sell you a sensationalized view of the world marketplace you drive down the equity I have in my stocks and when that happens I have less money in reserve for my savings. This in turn makes me rethink what I spend my money on since I will need certain supplements to continue gaining lean muscle mass and to continue to bust through my plateaus. So not only are you helping to bankrupt other people while doing the same to yourself but you are taking money away from me who would like to buy more supplements. This may sound petty but damn those supplements get expensive after you continuously need to replenish your supply of them. So here is a big fuck you to all your bandwagon assfaces who run scared and hide everytime the news portrays the housing market sales decrease of .01% to be the end of the world.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Intermittent Fasting
First off, I know exactly what your impressions will be after glancing at the title of this post. The word "Fasting" will hit you first and everything else I speak of after the title will be taken with a grain of salt that is the size of someone's testicle who has elephantitis. My advice to you...read the rest of this post and follow it as if it were the word of God being given to you by divine intervention.
Intermittment Fasting (IF for short), what is this you ask. Well IF is a personal eating choice of mine that consists of me fasting for 16 hours of the day while only consuming calories, vitamins, and nutrients during an 8 hour window. Now for those of you that are familiar with this approach I'm sure you will recognize this eating style from Martin Berkhan and his extremely informative site Leangains.com. I would recommend anyone who wants to see countless results from implementing IF to go to this website and take a look at Martin's client before and after pictures. Some of the transformations are truly amazing and quite mind-blowing. I really don't have the time or effort to go into all of the science behind IF so I'll let you read Martin's blog to see that, but what is key about this style of eating is that it allows you to do something fitness gurus thought never was really possible...Gain muscle without gaining tons of fat, and cut fat without losing muscle. Most of you are calling bullshit on this as you read this but let me give you this tid bit of information about my own experience. When I first began IF I was 180lbs, Shoulders 46.5 inches, Arms 14 inches, chest 40.5 inches, forearms 10.25 inches, and waist 34 inches. After four weeks of IF I weigh 175 lbs, Shoulders 49 inches, Arms 15.5 inches, chest still 40.5 inches, forearms 12.25 inches, and my waist has shrank to around 32.75 inches. Oh and I forgot to mention that my BF% during that time went from 12% to 9%. If those numbers don't speak volumes to you then I have no idea what you are doing reading my blog since you are obviously too mentally retarded to understand simple math. So there were my results after only 4 weeks and I'm continuing to use IF as we speak and will continue to update you all, but here is the kicker...IF is not a diet fad. You can use IF as a lifestyle all year round. Don't believe me, well let me explain to you a typical day on IF:
Monday - Eating period 12pm - 8pm, fast from 8pm til 12pm the next day
Workout day
Tuesday - Monday - Eating period 12pm - 8pm, fast from 8pm til 12pm the next day
Rest day
Wednesday - Eating period 12pm - 8pm, fast from 8pm til 12pm the next day
Workout day
Thursday - Eating period 12pm - 8pm, fast from 8pm til 12pm the next day
Rest day
Friday - Eating period 12pm - 8pm, fast from 8pm til 12pm the next day
Workout day
Saturday - Eating period 12pm - 8pm, fast from 8pm til 12pm the next day
Rest day
Sunday - Eating period 12pm - 8pm, fast from 8pm til 12pm the next day
Workout day
Monday (Start the workout routine all over)
I work with an 8 day routine that consists of only about 10-11 sets total within each workout day. If I do cardio its only 30 minutes of moderate cardio to get my heart rate up just enough to start burning fat. Depending on your age your ideal heart rate for burning fat could be higher or lower than mine. Mine is around 135-145ish.
I am currently a huge fan of Reverse Pyramid Training as well which you can learn about on many different sites but Martin's site really goes into great detail (Leangains.com). Basically its the notion that the most amount of muscle fibers are stimulated on the first set of your workout for a particular exercise. So with this in mind you would start with your heaviest set (ie Deadlifts 345 X 3) then work your way up by increasing the reps and lowering the weight (Deadlifts 310 X 4, Deadlifts 280 X 5). You should keep in mind however that the first set should be your hardest and where you give everything you have since it is when you will be able to stimulate the most muscle fibers. Also each time you do that lift which should be every 8-9 days you will attempt to increase that first set's weight by 2.5%. If you can't get it that week then do the same amount weight as the week before just more reps until you read upwards of 6-8.
I'm sure many of you saw I said when you do each lift 8-9 days later after you initial lift, and your thinking oh dear lord that is way too much rest time. However studies show that most of us overtrain like a bitch and wonder why we never continue to excel over our plateaus. I too myself was very skeptical of all of this but after trying it out myself and seeing how this methodology can be replicated I am a true believer.
So now that we have discussed that actual lifting and rest days that are involved we should probably talk about the part of working out that has to do with about 80% of our success. Yep thats right your DIET. When I say diet I don't want you all to start thinking I mean diet in the sense of don't eat any red meat or poultry you have to cut your calories by extreme amounts to drop weight. No the way of eating with IF and this weightlifting regimen is simple. On the days you are working out you should eat more carbs and tons of protein. On the days you are resting you tone down your caloric intake and keep your protein high but your carbs lower than your working out days. Doesn't sound too hard ehh? thats because it isn't, and I'm living breathing proof of it as well as Martin and everyone he has ever consulted with (by the way I didn't consult with him, I just read his information on his site and followed suit). So there you have it a quick rundown of IF and my eating and lifting regimen. Enjoy
Intermittment Fasting (IF for short), what is this you ask. Well IF is a personal eating choice of mine that consists of me fasting for 16 hours of the day while only consuming calories, vitamins, and nutrients during an 8 hour window. Now for those of you that are familiar with this approach I'm sure you will recognize this eating style from Martin Berkhan and his extremely informative site Leangains.com. I would recommend anyone who wants to see countless results from implementing IF to go to this website and take a look at Martin's client before and after pictures. Some of the transformations are truly amazing and quite mind-blowing. I really don't have the time or effort to go into all of the science behind IF so I'll let you read Martin's blog to see that, but what is key about this style of eating is that it allows you to do something fitness gurus thought never was really possible...Gain muscle without gaining tons of fat, and cut fat without losing muscle. Most of you are calling bullshit on this as you read this but let me give you this tid bit of information about my own experience. When I first began IF I was 180lbs, Shoulders 46.5 inches, Arms 14 inches, chest 40.5 inches, forearms 10.25 inches, and waist 34 inches. After four weeks of IF I weigh 175 lbs, Shoulders 49 inches, Arms 15.5 inches, chest still 40.5 inches, forearms 12.25 inches, and my waist has shrank to around 32.75 inches. Oh and I forgot to mention that my BF% during that time went from 12% to 9%. If those numbers don't speak volumes to you then I have no idea what you are doing reading my blog since you are obviously too mentally retarded to understand simple math. So there were my results after only 4 weeks and I'm continuing to use IF as we speak and will continue to update you all, but here is the kicker...IF is not a diet fad. You can use IF as a lifestyle all year round. Don't believe me, well let me explain to you a typical day on IF:
Monday - Eating period 12pm - 8pm, fast from 8pm til 12pm the next day
Workout day
Tuesday - Monday - Eating period 12pm - 8pm, fast from 8pm til 12pm the next day
Rest day
Wednesday - Eating period 12pm - 8pm, fast from 8pm til 12pm the next day
Workout day
Thursday - Eating period 12pm - 8pm, fast from 8pm til 12pm the next day
Rest day
Friday - Eating period 12pm - 8pm, fast from 8pm til 12pm the next day
Workout day
Saturday - Eating period 12pm - 8pm, fast from 8pm til 12pm the next day
Rest day
Sunday - Eating period 12pm - 8pm, fast from 8pm til 12pm the next day
Workout day
Monday (Start the workout routine all over)
I work with an 8 day routine that consists of only about 10-11 sets total within each workout day. If I do cardio its only 30 minutes of moderate cardio to get my heart rate up just enough to start burning fat. Depending on your age your ideal heart rate for burning fat could be higher or lower than mine. Mine is around 135-145ish.
I am currently a huge fan of Reverse Pyramid Training as well which you can learn about on many different sites but Martin's site really goes into great detail (Leangains.com). Basically its the notion that the most amount of muscle fibers are stimulated on the first set of your workout for a particular exercise. So with this in mind you would start with your heaviest set (ie Deadlifts 345 X 3) then work your way up by increasing the reps and lowering the weight (Deadlifts 310 X 4, Deadlifts 280 X 5). You should keep in mind however that the first set should be your hardest and where you give everything you have since it is when you will be able to stimulate the most muscle fibers. Also each time you do that lift which should be every 8-9 days you will attempt to increase that first set's weight by 2.5%. If you can't get it that week then do the same amount weight as the week before just more reps until you read upwards of 6-8.
I'm sure many of you saw I said when you do each lift 8-9 days later after you initial lift, and your thinking oh dear lord that is way too much rest time. However studies show that most of us overtrain like a bitch and wonder why we never continue to excel over our plateaus. I too myself was very skeptical of all of this but after trying it out myself and seeing how this methodology can be replicated I am a true believer.
So now that we have discussed that actual lifting and rest days that are involved we should probably talk about the part of working out that has to do with about 80% of our success. Yep thats right your DIET. When I say diet I don't want you all to start thinking I mean diet in the sense of don't eat any red meat or poultry you have to cut your calories by extreme amounts to drop weight. No the way of eating with IF and this weightlifting regimen is simple. On the days you are working out you should eat more carbs and tons of protein. On the days you are resting you tone down your caloric intake and keep your protein high but your carbs lower than your working out days. Doesn't sound too hard ehh? thats because it isn't, and I'm living breathing proof of it as well as Martin and everyone he has ever consulted with (by the way I didn't consult with him, I just read his information on his site and followed suit). So there you have it a quick rundown of IF and my eating and lifting regimen. Enjoy
Thursday, August 5, 2010
My before and after results
I recently began this blog in order to rant and rave about the ignorance, self-neglect, and just plain stupidity that people in this world who have somehow come to the conclusion that being overweight, obese, big, oversized, weight-challenged, (or however else that they would like to sugar coat death walking with rolls) is something to be proud of. Well with this post I would like to divulge a couple a tid bit of information, pictures, and little known facts about yours truly. So without further ado here we go:
Allow me to set a thorough yet simple view of my younger years within high school. Walking down the hallways of Fieldale-Collinsville High School, the year was 2000 and I was fresh meat being told everywhere I turned that there was this legendary pool on top of the school along with an elevator to get there. Stop...Of course this was all bullshit and any freshman who actually took this type of two cents from 5th year seniors who thought staying 5 or 6 years in high school was the equivalent to being a regular Van Wilder. Shit there some seniors who graduated in 4 years (which for those of you that aren't completely incompetent would realize this is the maximum amount of time someone should spend in high school) and considered the "Cool kids who amounted to something a little more successful they a late termed six month aborted child. WHOA I think I may have taken that just a little too far with that comment. But nonetheless these were the guys I had to look up to as a freshman coming into the classy world of humiliation, love, and sex (or lack of for me, because I decided I would stay a virgin until I was married. I know I know I'm kicking myself in the testicles every day to remind myself of the guaranteed and possible tang I could have attained. Don't get me wrong I was one of those kids who said I would do everything but..sounds like I should have been checked into a mental institution I know.) Please MADD or any other mother organiztion do not plague my wall with comments and have some damn lobbyist calling me up demanding I recount my words on here. Please realize this is all for humor, and to think of it I might start rating my posts. It might go a little like this: Fucked up, Dirty, Possible time for blood pressure medicine because I got under your skin that far, and Informative.)
Wow really went on a tangent there didn't I...anyways I was weak early on in high school and when I say weak I'm referring to how we view antelope in the wild compared to a beastly lion. And what a perfect metaphor to describe myself considering that is what all of the Lions (guys who were genetically blessed early on in life) did to me. They pushed me around and though it was funny since I couldn't really push back without hurling my entire body at them as if I was spearing them (and I never did that, so you do the math) I couldn't bring myself to find the same enjoyment that these gene spliced meatheads, who are also some of my best friends to this day, got out my misery. So long story short I decided to begin an endeavor that still continues today...putting on lean muscle mass that would disencourage others from thinking twice about crossing my fucking path without at least saying excuse me.
I started out like everyone else which is by listening to what everyone who is genetically blessed. Well as I'm sure you probably guessed it got me about as far as the picture you will see below. Which by the way isn't when I was a freshman in high school but a damn sophomore in college!!!!!!
Well five years later and alot more trial and error of doing some things that work and some things that had no affect on me at all here is what I have achieved so far:
Allow me to set a thorough yet simple view of my younger years within high school. Walking down the hallways of Fieldale-Collinsville High School, the year was 2000 and I was fresh meat being told everywhere I turned that there was this legendary pool on top of the school along with an elevator to get there. Stop...Of course this was all bullshit and any freshman who actually took this type of two cents from 5th year seniors who thought staying 5 or 6 years in high school was the equivalent to being a regular Van Wilder. Shit there some seniors who graduated in 4 years (which for those of you that aren't completely incompetent would realize this is the maximum amount of time someone should spend in high school) and considered the "Cool kids who amounted to something a little more successful they a late termed six month aborted child. WHOA I think I may have taken that just a little too far with that comment. But nonetheless these were the guys I had to look up to as a freshman coming into the classy world of humiliation, love, and sex (or lack of for me, because I decided I would stay a virgin until I was married. I know I know I'm kicking myself in the testicles every day to remind myself of the guaranteed and possible tang I could have attained. Don't get me wrong I was one of those kids who said I would do everything but..sounds like I should have been checked into a mental institution I know.) Please MADD or any other mother organiztion do not plague my wall with comments and have some damn lobbyist calling me up demanding I recount my words on here. Please realize this is all for humor, and to think of it I might start rating my posts. It might go a little like this: Fucked up, Dirty, Possible time for blood pressure medicine because I got under your skin that far, and Informative.)
Wow really went on a tangent there didn't I...anyways I was weak early on in high school and when I say weak I'm referring to how we view antelope in the wild compared to a beastly lion. And what a perfect metaphor to describe myself considering that is what all of the Lions (guys who were genetically blessed early on in life) did to me. They pushed me around and though it was funny since I couldn't really push back without hurling my entire body at them as if I was spearing them (and I never did that, so you do the math) I couldn't bring myself to find the same enjoyment that these gene spliced meatheads, who are also some of my best friends to this day, got out my misery. So long story short I decided to begin an endeavor that still continues today...putting on lean muscle mass that would disencourage others from thinking twice about crossing my fucking path without at least saying excuse me.
I started out like everyone else which is by listening to what everyone who is genetically blessed. Well as I'm sure you probably guessed it got me about as far as the picture you will see below. Which by the way isn't when I was a freshman in high school but a damn sophomore in college!!!!!!
Currently I am in the middle of a bulking phase but still staying decently cut up. For now this post is over however I will leave you with topics that will be on my next blog:
Intermittent Fasting (and its wonders)
My current lifting program (at least an outline, hey I'm a personal trainer too I can't give all my secrets away)
Stocks and Weightlifting and how they relate
People that piss me the fuck off. Period
As always listen to me because I'm cynical but yet logical, peace.
Gym Etiquette for Incompetence
My last post dealt with types of foods that you should avoid or better yet eat within moderation to avoid the plague coming out of your asshole. However with this post I thought I would put something on here that hits home with individuals who actually have a heartfelt connection with their body and a healthy lifestyle. Or at least are attempting to wander down this path.
So about a week ago I'm in the Forst Drive Golds Gym just minding my gyme etiquette and training for the blood, sweat, and tears I love to see when I'm finished with my routine, a fat piece of shit comes out of left field and just completely ruins my day, afternoon, night, and sleep. Now if any of you know me personally my mood and personality can switch on the turn of a dime even though I work very hard to control this. I had already taken my preworkout supplement Jack3d
so I was about to throw a 100lb dumbell through wall everytime I finished a set. My point being I was intensely alert and fueled for maximum weightlifting. With all of what I just mentioned in mind my buddy who I am currently training to become the next strong man/bodybuilder "John Benesh" (and yes he will get there with my help and his determination) is waiting on some fat piece of shit to finish doing his set of dumbell bicep curls with 25lbs in each hand right in front of the dumbell rack. I know I know I know exactly what you are thinking most guys dicks weigh more than 25lbs so it would be interesting to see if this degenerate even had a penis. So instead of just allowing John to wait until this nincumpoop moved and completed his set. I approached the oversized man child and said "hey bud excuse me." He responded by saying "just wait I'll be done in a second." Well this didn't sit well with me at all, especially since I try to be most courteous to everyone in the gym and was taught to be that way from day one no matter how weak or massive someone was. I responded to this jackass as such, "No you need to move, it's completely disrespectful and not courteous at all to be standing and doing your set while blocking the dumbell rack." He responded by saying "no its not disrespectful you are being ridiculous because you won't wait until I'm finished." Well by now as you can guess my blood is pumping and I would like to rip this guy a new asshole. I proceeded to say next "YES it is disrespectful and you need to be courteous of everyone else in here since you aren't the only one using the dumbells that weigh less than my penis." Well he didn't enjoy this comment very much and he stormed off, but needless to say there was no bloodshed unfortunately. John even mentioned that he thought there was going to be a battle royal breaking out at any moment, and hey I didn't disagree with him since I felt my fight or flight mechanisms start being ramped up. Needless to say that was the end of that confrontation with people who have no respect for others in the gym.
If this particular instance describes your day in the life of exercising at a gym then maybe you need to revaluate your life and consider how much you value it. I say this for the simple reason that I am able to control my temper but I do know quite a few meatheads within those gym walls that would have not thought twice about breaking you leg off for some extra protein in their diet.
Also I would like to mention this, if you are standing next to any bench or anything that could be used by someone to do an exercise and you see a person coming in that direction with an amount of weight that you will never be able to pick up, please and I repeat please get the fuck out of the way before I throw the weight at you next time. Doing this is not hard since you are probably lifting weight that is the equivalence to my testicles in pounds. Its not standing your ground when you do what was mentioned above but more or less you not being considerate to others who have extremely heavy weights in their hands and are making their way to a bench. Do you think we like having to lift really really heavy weights in order to stimulate our muscles to grow? Did you ever think to wonder that it would be nice one day to be able to lift your small dumbells and achieve the same growth as we currently possess? Well guess what we do like lifting weights that you will never be able to lift with two hands and we do have to lift these mammoths of dumbells in order for our bodies to continue growing since we most likely starting lifting 8 or more years ago.
Alright I hope everyone else feels as relieved as I do after releasing all that testosterone onto this blog, I know I do. So we have come to the end of this posting but please be on the lookout for my recommendations for training, my progress pictures, and recommendations for supplements to take. Oh yeah Jack3d
rocks by the way.
As always Listen to me and you will learn cynical but yet logical knowledge, peace.
So about a week ago I'm in the Forst Drive Golds Gym just minding my gyme etiquette and training for the blood, sweat, and tears I love to see when I'm finished with my routine, a fat piece of shit comes out of left field and just completely ruins my day, afternoon, night, and sleep. Now if any of you know me personally my mood and personality can switch on the turn of a dime even though I work very hard to control this. I had already taken my preworkout supplement Jack3d
so I was about to throw a 100lb dumbell through wall everytime I finished a set. My point being I was intensely alert and fueled for maximum weightlifting. With all of what I just mentioned in mind my buddy who I am currently training to become the next strong man/bodybuilder "John Benesh" (and yes he will get there with my help and his determination) is waiting on some fat piece of shit to finish doing his set of dumbell bicep curls with 25lbs in each hand right in front of the dumbell rack. I know I know I know exactly what you are thinking most guys dicks weigh more than 25lbs so it would be interesting to see if this degenerate even had a penis. So instead of just allowing John to wait until this nincumpoop moved and completed his set. I approached the oversized man child and said "hey bud excuse me." He responded by saying "just wait I'll be done in a second." Well this didn't sit well with me at all, especially since I try to be most courteous to everyone in the gym and was taught to be that way from day one no matter how weak or massive someone was. I responded to this jackass as such, "No you need to move, it's completely disrespectful and not courteous at all to be standing and doing your set while blocking the dumbell rack." He responded by saying "no its not disrespectful you are being ridiculous because you won't wait until I'm finished." Well by now as you can guess my blood is pumping and I would like to rip this guy a new asshole. I proceeded to say next "YES it is disrespectful and you need to be courteous of everyone else in here since you aren't the only one using the dumbells that weigh less than my penis." Well he didn't enjoy this comment very much and he stormed off, but needless to say there was no bloodshed unfortunately. John even mentioned that he thought there was going to be a battle royal breaking out at any moment, and hey I didn't disagree with him since I felt my fight or flight mechanisms start being ramped up. Needless to say that was the end of that confrontation with people who have no respect for others in the gym. If this particular instance describes your day in the life of exercising at a gym then maybe you need to revaluate your life and consider how much you value it. I say this for the simple reason that I am able to control my temper but I do know quite a few meatheads within those gym walls that would have not thought twice about breaking you leg off for some extra protein in their diet.
Also I would like to mention this, if you are standing next to any bench or anything that could be used by someone to do an exercise and you see a person coming in that direction with an amount of weight that you will never be able to pick up, please and I repeat please get the fuck out of the way before I throw the weight at you next time. Doing this is not hard since you are probably lifting weight that is the equivalence to my testicles in pounds. Its not standing your ground when you do what was mentioned above but more or less you not being considerate to others who have extremely heavy weights in their hands and are making their way to a bench. Do you think we like having to lift really really heavy weights in order to stimulate our muscles to grow? Did you ever think to wonder that it would be nice one day to be able to lift your small dumbells and achieve the same growth as we currently possess? Well guess what we do like lifting weights that you will never be able to lift with two hands and we do have to lift these mammoths of dumbells in order for our bodies to continue growing since we most likely starting lifting 8 or more years ago.
Alright I hope everyone else feels as relieved as I do after releasing all that testosterone onto this blog, I know I do. So we have come to the end of this posting but please be on the lookout for my recommendations for training, my progress pictures, and recommendations for supplements to take. Oh yeah Jack3d
rocks by the way.As always Listen to me and you will learn cynical but yet logical knowledge, peace.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Nutrition for Dummies
Have you ever wondered why when you eat certain things your bowels tend to send you a message something along the lines of "AHHHHHHH I'm on the line right before you start pissing out of your asshole." Well if you think it has nothing to do with what you are eating and that you just have a weak stomach for certain things your are about 25% correct. The other 75% is you not having a damn clue.
The things we put in our bodies often come out as the body perceives it when it came in (nutrient deprived waste). Now I'm not trying to toot my horn over here by saying that I know all and have always known all their is to know about eating healthy. I didn't grow up in a household that taught me how to eat healthy or feed my body the efficient amount of nutrients to put on muscle, size, or lean down whenever I wanted. Nope that's right, I got off my lazy ass one day and decided to educate myself (Something all your sap son of guns out there who can't see their penis when they look down should do). I'm sure you are now asking yourself well if you weren't indoctrinated by your parents on how to eat healthy and correctly, then how did you do it? First off I recommend you go to your nearest Amazon retailer right here----- Nutrition For Dummies
and buy the book Nutrition for dummies. This book will definitely not be your end all be all of nutrition but it will certainly help you filter out some of the trash that is out there within the media right now. Secondly forget diets, they don't work at all. Lifestyles work and that is the God's honest truth. I know you have heard this over and over again from people trying to sell you another diet fad themselves but a truly healthy lifestyle and body is not something you can do for a "trial period" then go back to shovelling your face with anything and everything again.
Here is a list of foods you shouldn't touch if you are trying to lose fat AKA live a longer life.
White Bread (simple carbs) --- eat complex carbs instead (whole grains)
"Excess" amounts of cheese --- eat cheese but within moderation
Whole Milk --- drink Skim or 1% fat milk as a better alternative
Smoothies --- the majority of smoothies contain a ton of sugar but there are healthy smoothies out there
"Excess" amounts of Pork - eat meats with less saturated fats (ie poultry, lean red meat, lamb, fish)
Doughnuts --- this could be lumped into white bread but I wanted to mention it
Salami --- also could be lumped into pork
Soda of all kind --- diet sodas are a better alternative but I still don't like all the artificial stuff they put in those.
White Pasta --- Also lumped into white bread and simple carbs (try whole grain pasta)
Ice cream all the time --- try to limit this intake (too much sugar)
Chocolate --- although it has antioxidants the sugar is no good, try other foods like black beans, blueberries that are rich in antioxidants
Sour cream --- try to get the fat free if you must
Cookies, candies, cake - anything that has tons of sugar in it (check nutrition label if you are unsure)
That is just a short list of things not to eat, but for a complete list of things that will help give you all the nutrients you need and help you lose that fat check Nutrition For Dummies by Carol Ann Rinzier.
The things we put in our bodies often come out as the body perceives it when it came in (nutrient deprived waste). Now I'm not trying to toot my horn over here by saying that I know all and have always known all their is to know about eating healthy. I didn't grow up in a household that taught me how to eat healthy or feed my body the efficient amount of nutrients to put on muscle, size, or lean down whenever I wanted. Nope that's right, I got off my lazy ass one day and decided to educate myself (Something all your sap son of guns out there who can't see their penis when they look down should do). I'm sure you are now asking yourself well if you weren't indoctrinated by your parents on how to eat healthy and correctly, then how did you do it? First off I recommend you go to your nearest Amazon retailer right here----- Nutrition For Dummies
and buy the book Nutrition for dummies. This book will definitely not be your end all be all of nutrition but it will certainly help you filter out some of the trash that is out there within the media right now. Secondly forget diets, they don't work at all. Lifestyles work and that is the God's honest truth. I know you have heard this over and over again from people trying to sell you another diet fad themselves but a truly healthy lifestyle and body is not something you can do for a "trial period" then go back to shovelling your face with anything and everything again.Here is a list of foods you shouldn't touch if you are trying to lose fat AKA live a longer life.
White Bread (simple carbs) --- eat complex carbs instead (whole grains)
"Excess" amounts of cheese --- eat cheese but within moderation
Whole Milk --- drink Skim or 1% fat milk as a better alternative
Smoothies --- the majority of smoothies contain a ton of sugar but there are healthy smoothies out there
"Excess" amounts of Pork - eat meats with less saturated fats (ie poultry, lean red meat, lamb, fish)
Doughnuts --- this could be lumped into white bread but I wanted to mention it
Salami --- also could be lumped into pork
Soda of all kind --- diet sodas are a better alternative but I still don't like all the artificial stuff they put in those.
White Pasta --- Also lumped into white bread and simple carbs (try whole grain pasta)
Ice cream all the time --- try to limit this intake (too much sugar)
Chocolate --- although it has antioxidants the sugar is no good, try other foods like black beans, blueberries that are rich in antioxidants
Sour cream --- try to get the fat free if you must
Cookies, candies, cake - anything that has tons of sugar in it (check nutrition label if you are unsure)
That is just a short list of things not to eat, but for a complete list of things that will help give you all the nutrients you need and help you lose that fat check Nutrition For Dummies by Carol Ann Rinzier.
Not the asshole Socrates Part I
Socrates was an asshole, this is probably the most true and logical assumption I could make from the time I spent in Philosophy 101 back at good ole James Madison University. While I was there to learn as much as possible from a little man who reminded me of Dexter from Dexter's Laboratory on Cartoon Network, I must say that I was more focused on regenerating my liver that was being abused on a weekly basis by the fraternity I was pledging. None the less I did learn a bit about the famous name Socrates. He loved to point out everyones flaws and their shortcomings when arguing with him. "Memorable Thoughts of Socrates
" However one of the major pet peeves that most people found with Scorates was his ever unnerving need to point out false logic but to never give a solution to the person's problems. Well my friends (anyone who is attempting to better their health or already are in tip top shape) and my enemies (obese individuals who think being overweight and out of shape is just the hand of cards they were dealt in life) rest assured that I will not be an asshole Socrates. I will strive my best to give you all the knowledge I have acquired over the years, but hopefully this message will be broadcasted to you in an entertaining yet satirist tone that will both inform and piss you off to where you can do nothing else but come back and read my blog. Also below you will see some JMU apparrel that is awesome and I recommend you support the Duke dogs because we James Madisonians are very proud of our Divsion I AA football bwhahahahaha....
" However one of the major pet peeves that most people found with Scorates was his ever unnerving need to point out false logic but to never give a solution to the person's problems. Well my friends (anyone who is attempting to better their health or already are in tip top shape) and my enemies (obese individuals who think being overweight and out of shape is just the hand of cards they were dealt in life) rest assured that I will not be an asshole Socrates. I will strive my best to give you all the knowledge I have acquired over the years, but hopefully this message will be broadcasted to you in an entertaining yet satirist tone that will both inform and piss you off to where you can do nothing else but come back and read my blog. Also below you will see some JMU apparrel that is awesome and I recommend you support the Duke dogs because we James Madisonians are very proud of our Divsion I AA football bwhahahahaha....Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Lets piss some people off
So here we go for the first time ever on blogging. Well how do I start well let me first begin by saying that if you haven ‘t by now figured out what Intermittent Fasting is and who Martin Beckhan is then you aren’t doing your homework well enough. I recently discovered Martin’s site leangains.com and become entranced by his methods and style of training. You only need to take a look at my statistics over the past month to see how much progress I have achieved. However instead of using Martin as a consultant for service I have branched out on my own to attempt IF and his outlined training regimen. So far everything has worked well for me and I will continue to use this approach. Ok so now that I have officially given a shout out to a true brainiac of the new world order of fitness I would like to take some time to let people know how I really feel about lazy, no good, God dealt me a hand that just sucks and there is nothing I can do about it.
You know who you are, you sit in your cubicle all day, take the elevator from the first floor to the second. You eat fast food every chance you get while downing multiple sodas all day long. Then you get off work take the elevator from the 2nd floor to the 1st and walk (your exercise for the day) to your car and drive home where you sit on the couch for another 3 hours then pass out in your bed right before eating a huge slice of pizza or mcdonalds hamburger before bed.
Hmmm I wonder why you are a fat ass…..It might be the lack of exercise, general dismay you have for your bodily functions (taking huge exploding coffee shits every hour while at work), thyroid problem (don’t even start with this nonsense, get on google look up home remedy methods to regulate your thyroid or go to the doctor and get him to prescribe you thyroid medicine), you are too stupid to educate yourself about how to eat healthy, you are weak minded, you have no self-discipline, you prefer to die young from a stroke or heart attack because that will make you and your family happy (since you are a fat ass already and a burden to them and society), or you are currently working towards becoming a healthy individual and in the beginning stages (more power to you brother/sister). Chances are one of those reasons apply to you and is the reason or are the reasons you are a fat ass.
Ask yourself these questions: Do you think that just because you love your fat ass self for the rolls of fat and horrid smells emnating from your body that everyone else does? Do you realize that you are making peoples’ health insurance premiums rise from your chronic health issues that plague our healthcare system today? Do you want your family to have to bury you early and leave them behind because you are too selfish to get out of your own way and do something about it? Do you idolize celebrities like the idiotic Queen Latifah and Monique because they say its ok to be fat and to eat anything and everything you want as long as you are happy with yourself? Well if you answered yes to any of the above questions and you think or feel that it is ok to feel like this, then I have one word that describes what you mean to me…TURD!!!
Ok so now that I have that out of my system and hopefully have pissed alot of obese people and people who have relatives who are obese, maybe 24 hours from now something I said whether it be the cynical comments or downright fiscal irresponsibility will stick in your mind and you will get off your tousches and do something about it. So instead of being a regular asshole Socrates and picking you apart without offering any solution to the problem I will start each day to put my thoughts out on this beautiful blog of mine in an earnest hope that all of my rants were not in vain.
Thanks and listen to me, I have cynical but logical viewpoints, peace.
You know who you are, you sit in your cubicle all day, take the elevator from the first floor to the second. You eat fast food every chance you get while downing multiple sodas all day long. Then you get off work take the elevator from the 2nd floor to the 1st and walk (your exercise for the day) to your car and drive home where you sit on the couch for another 3 hours then pass out in your bed right before eating a huge slice of pizza or mcdonalds hamburger before bed.
Hmmm I wonder why you are a fat ass…..It might be the lack of exercise, general dismay you have for your bodily functions (taking huge exploding coffee shits every hour while at work), thyroid problem (don’t even start with this nonsense, get on google look up home remedy methods to regulate your thyroid or go to the doctor and get him to prescribe you thyroid medicine), you are too stupid to educate yourself about how to eat healthy, you are weak minded, you have no self-discipline, you prefer to die young from a stroke or heart attack because that will make you and your family happy (since you are a fat ass already and a burden to them and society), or you are currently working towards becoming a healthy individual and in the beginning stages (more power to you brother/sister). Chances are one of those reasons apply to you and is the reason or are the reasons you are a fat ass.
Ask yourself these questions: Do you think that just because you love your fat ass self for the rolls of fat and horrid smells emnating from your body that everyone else does? Do you realize that you are making peoples’ health insurance premiums rise from your chronic health issues that plague our healthcare system today? Do you want your family to have to bury you early and leave them behind because you are too selfish to get out of your own way and do something about it? Do you idolize celebrities like the idiotic Queen Latifah and Monique because they say its ok to be fat and to eat anything and everything you want as long as you are happy with yourself? Well if you answered yes to any of the above questions and you think or feel that it is ok to feel like this, then I have one word that describes what you mean to me…TURD!!!
Ok so now that I have that out of my system and hopefully have pissed alot of obese people and people who have relatives who are obese, maybe 24 hours from now something I said whether it be the cynical comments or downright fiscal irresponsibility will stick in your mind and you will get off your tousches and do something about it. So instead of being a regular asshole Socrates and picking you apart without offering any solution to the problem I will start each day to put my thoughts out on this beautiful blog of mine in an earnest hope that all of my rants were not in vain.
Thanks and listen to me, I have cynical but logical viewpoints, peace.
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